I saw an infographic similar to this on social media today, and it really made me stop and think.

It shows some common responses to traumatic stress. When people are stressed in deep ways over a long period of time (say, worrying about their health and safety and finances and families and friends over an extended quarantine?), we respond in more than one way.

Sometimes, the reactions are predictable: stress always messes with my sleep, for example. Other times, the reactions aren’t as obvious: in response to the stressed-out sense that I have to read all of the news as soon as it comes out, I’ve found myself zoning out completely in the evenings and watching some truly ridiculous Netflix shows to numb myself to that encompassing worry.

I recognized a lot of these things in my behavior lately, and realized that it’s also something showing up in the other people around me. My parents and even some friends have shorter fuses than usual, and react to setbacks with much more frustration than is normal — it’s a side effect of their stress. A wave on a walk with a neighbor led to a conversation in which she was holding back tears — that sadness is part of her stress.

I’m putting this on my blog so that I remember that all of us are going through a collective trauma right now — even if we aren’t sick, and even if the worst thing that’s happened up til now is the cancellation of spring sports. Our lives have been uprooted in a big way. We won’t respond to each other in exactly the same ways. The only way to cope with that? Giving each other a lot of grace.